kim@kimpossibledang.com

Intimacy and Closeness

Intimacy and Closeness

The other day I got a spam email from an SEO telemarketer critiquing my site as being too "company centric".  Obviously he didn't read anything on my site because... does a "company centric" blog site include a poem about sex on their site?  I didn't think so.

A good point was made though - that if you go to this site you have no idea where to start or what to read because the topics are so damn varied.  Therefore, I've decided to make pages such as "NEWCOMER? START HERE" in the menu as well as ARCHIVE, PROJECTS, and CONTACT.

I've yet to make those pages.

I recently read Mark Manson's post about 3 explanations why he thinks single people (who hate being single) are still single (and hating being single).

Let me break it down for you

1) Too high expectations of others while not really being hot shit themselves.  Overweight woman expects to date a man with six pack abs for example.

2) Not respecting their health/emotional well being enough to work really hard to be an emotionally and physically healthy individual ... and wondering why they are getting rejected for relationships.

3) Skills for intimacy are not developed yet.  Which means they interpret every argument/fight as unbearable & can't feel comfortable in getting close to someone because they don't want to explore themselves on a deeper level and be okay with it.

I agree with all three points.

I think I've been through all of it and the one I struggle the most with is #3.

Why not #1 or #2?  I changed myself for the better by hiring a therapist to allow me to see reality clearly when it came to #1 and #2.  I got off my ass, exercised more, killed almost 80% of my expectations for people and what they can provide for me - instead I focused on becoming more giving without counting tabs & seeing where it goes when that happens.

#3 is tough.  How can you tell your SO that the cause of your pain is them without hurting them in the process? And vice versa?  It's difficult.  Even if it is delivered at calm times.  I think it's because to yourself - you are perfect (or close enough).  You've figured out for the most part what makes you happy.  And everything else outside of what makes you happy will mean... unhappiness.  And unhappiness is not what you want to include in your life.

You don't want to face or even fathom the idea that sometimes.. you are not a good person.  Sometimes you are downright selfish.  Sometimes you are rude and you act in a way which hurts others unintentionally or otherwise.  There are these darker sides to you that resurface once in a while.  Although they do not make up the majority of your traits and personality - it hurts to admit to yourself that you are a bad person (sometimes).

I think the more you view yourself as a really good decent honest loving person... and you stick to that ideal rather vehemently... the harder it will be for you to accept any other versions which compromises this image.  And anyone who is close enough to see all sides of you will eventually point out the sides you basically ignored for the most part because god forbid you are not THAT guy/girl.  Any conversation which would touch upon the subject that maybe you are selfish, mean, horrible sometimes would hurt. A lot.

And when your SO gives two shits about you, you're going to hear the good and the bad.  Getting 100% good is nearly impossible.  Nothing will be 100% out of the box.  And if you expect 100% you are suffering from not only #3 but #1 as well.

Being comfortable enough to explore yourself changes this mentality:

1) OWWW. You remind me sometimes that I am not perfect. That I am rude/mean/inconsiderate sometimes.  That I am vengeful/passive aggressive/not 100%/not good enough sometimes.  That is NOT okay!  I hate this!  I want OUT!  I guess I am meant to be alone because then I can JUST BE HAPPY! I WAS HAPPY BEFORE THIS!

to this:

2) I hear what you are saying & how it hurts you.  But I am secure about myself emotionally to know that I am not 100% evil/a bad person.  I have good intentions and I see somehow that doesn't translate into my actions.  I understand things can be misinterpreted.  It's not the end of the world.  I'll see if I can approach it differently next time.

Mark says it is the difficult road to emotional stability.  Because in order to be healthy mentally you have to work hard at your own humility almost everyday, you have to work hard to be physically healthy (Your self esteem will be greatly influenced if you are not physically healthy), you have to fight every damn battle of irrational thoughts or refrain from behavior that can be misinterpreted.

Does this mean you are losing yourself and your own happiness?  I think the struggle is REAL, folks.  But you are not losing yourself.  You are gaining the ability to be close to someone and be okay with it.  This is a very cool skill to have.  Why not have the skill where you can be open, accept criticism come what may, still remain positive about life and love and proactively change yourself for the better?  Sure, the process will be painful.  Sure, you will probably have your ego crushed sometimes.  We can either let life hurt us and give us the excuse to stay hurt or we can be okay with what life throws at us because whatever it is... whether it be people who think we are not 100%... whether it be customers who just hate our guts.... or whether it is a big fat LEMON....

you can still make lemonade.

I think making lemonade when life throws you lemons is UNINTENTIONALLY PROFOUND.  It is profound because instead of running away from those pack of lemons, you are making something delicious out of them.  Happiness then ties into something that's already there & working with it versus discarding it for the next thing that pops up.

The saying could've been... when life gives you lemons... you ... THROW THEM ON THE GROUND.. and go with THE BAG OF APPLES.

(But it's not.)

Yes. Chin pimples = CHIMPLES.

Yes. Chin pimples = CHIMPLES. Also, I was going to filter myself completely green to resemble the Hulk's bastard child. But I changed my mind last minute.

 

YOU GOTTA STOP STARTING BUSINESSES

YOU GOTTA STOP STARTING BUSINESSES

This was what my boyfriend told me the other day...

I looked back on what was going on and.. damn.. he is right.

I started this. And this. And this. And this blog.

I think I may have a problem.

You know, maybe it is the "No fear of failure" thing that has my adrenaline going.  But it might be "Too stupid to say No" syndrome.  I plunge into many ideas without knowing much of what's going on hoping that I land on my feet and figuring that I will learn as I go.  It is getting ridiculous because at the same time...I fear failure almost everyday.

What's the worst that can happen?  I become homeless? I don't WANT to become homeless!

I know I will be able to get a job and start all over again if I fail.  So... why not?

Indoor Rocking Climbing at Hanger18 with my gal pal VAL

Indoor Rocking Climbing at Hanger18 with my gal pal VAL. I know...BLURRY...sorry?

How To Take Orders Using Authorize.net

How To Take Orders Using Authorize.net

I am continuing my How To Start And Run An Ecommerce Company Step by Step series... How to take orders using authorize.net.

Okay, so you opened your business.  And you are getting payments through Paypal because that is the only thing you know.  You can do the lame thing and send yourself an invoice with paypal... then take down their credit card numbers... then pay your own invoice with their credit card information...

And let paypal rape you with their 2.9% + $.30 per transaction fees.  NOW WHAT?

You can use authorize.net.

A customer randomly wants to pay you with his card... and you have no reader... now what?

You can go online and log into authorize.net.

1) Buy your authorize.net account through a reseller.  You cannot buy it directly from them.  Why do companies do this?  They don't want to deal with customer service any longer and they know they have a product everyone wants.  They would rather let their trusted resellers deal with all the customer service.  This is a smart move.  Here is a list.

Call everyone and haggle for the best prices.  Resellers get a percentage cut off of market value so it will be a good situation for you if you can get a large portion of the discount authorize.net gives them.

2) Log into Authorize.net

3 ) Click on Tools

It should look like the below:

Authorize.net

Authorize.net

4) Authorize.net is a payment gateway that won't rape you with high fees.  Card readers like Square ...does.  Or any other type of "Free" card readers that gets mailed to you.  But hey, if you really don't care - they offer a great convenience.  And if you have a store-front where you are getting orders face to face every single day - use a reader because then you can get more money in and keep the lines short.

Here is something I learned later on... which you will learn NOW.  You can take payments from people who have cards with international billing addresses.  You would have to change some settings... view the screenshot below:

Go to settings --> Address verification service --> uncheck the G, U, S.  UNCHECK GUS!  Now, viola, you can take an order from anyone living on an international island..for example.

settings

settings

 

address

address

Uncheck GUSUncheck GUS

5) Authorize.net can also integrate with your own website.  You can create separate log-ins for different people.  I created a developer log-in and he goes in and uses the API code Authorize.net provides.  Suddenly you can take payments online.  You can also do re-occurring billing.  Not every customer in the world will have a paypal account so might as well know how to receive payments in other forms!

I hope that helps you guys!

Thanks for the increase in traffic!  My worth of web for this website has shot from $215 to...$1493.  My goal is to reach $2000.  YES, THAT'S ALL I'M WORTH.. ISN'T IT?!??!

My worth of web 7 17 14

My worth of web 7 17 14

In other news... a company I co-launched with a fellow named Ron over a month ago has TWO ACTIVE PAYING subscribers now.  WEEEEEEE!  TWO SUBSCRIBERS!!!!!!!!  Hey, that's better then no subscribers. It gotta start SOMEWHERE.

AND... because I feel like it might be a good idea to write about youtube celebrities, I am co-launching an online Magazine-like/Wiki mutation featuring just biographies about Youtube Celebrities.  The site looks like there is nothing on there.. which ... there really is nothing on there right now.  But I am taking it ONE DAY AT A TIME.  My co-founder is Lynn.

Below are a few pictures of my rock climbing trip.  The top one involves climbing a 3 pitch, 300' wall of rock in South Lake Tahoe.  GOTTA LIVE MAS!

Tackling Corrugation Corner with my PINK HAT!

Tackling Corrugation Corner with my PINK HAT!

Corrugation Corner climb at Lover's Leap

CLIMBING AT PHANTOM SPIRES!

Hi

Phantom Spires at South Lake Tahoe

 

 

Who Is Anthony Padilla?

Who Is Anthony Padilla?

So...who is he?

Biography:

Name: Anthony Padilla

Age: 26

Birthday: September 16, 1987

Height: 5 feet 11 inches

Weight: 158 lbs

Does he have a girlfriend?: Yes. Engaged to her.

Founded: SMOSH productions.

Interesting stuff: He sleepwalks and he grinds his teeth at night.  He also suffers from panic attacks.

How did he get famous?: He made youtube videos with his friend Ian which involved mostly comedy skits.

Subscribers as of now: 18 Million.

He is the guy with the long hair.


Sources:

Youtube channel here.

Smosh wiki.

You guessed it..  This is my second SEO experiment!  The first one went so well, I decided to follow up with a biography of Anthony Padilla.  He is a tiny bit more popular than Yousef Erakat with 8K searches for his name/month.  Unlike other biography pages, I will keep mine short.  Very short.  Almost frustratingly short.

Who is Anthony Padilla?

Anthony Padilla Searches WHOA ALMOST 9,000/MONTH!!!

Yes.  I am going for the big fish this time.

Actually, the world asks.. I will answer.

Who is Anthony Padilla?

Anthony Padilla Key Words

  • Anthony Padilla Girlfriend: Kalel Cullen
  • Anthony Padilla Shirtless: Sorry.
  • Anthony Padilla Twitter: Here.
  • Anthony Padilla Height: 5' 11"
  • Anthony Padilla Mexican: Maybe. Definitely Native American and 1/4th Filipino.
  • Anthony Padilla Age: 26
  • How old is Anthony Padilla: 26
  • How Tall is Anthony Padilla: 5' 11"
  • Anthony Padilla Birthday: September 16, 1987
  • Is Anthony Padilla Married: Not yet.
  • Is Anthony Padilla Gay?: No

Okay.  I got too tired answering these repetitive questions.  I will update you guys in a few months.  Till then!

Behind the scenes of YOAST SEO plugin for WordPress:  My overall score is still a good one for this page.  However, look at what I am too lazy to fix below:

YOAST SEO FOR WORDPRESS

Behind the scenes!

What have I been up to? I went to a wedding.

Hang and Thoai's Wedding

Hang and Thoai's Wedding

I climbed Corrugation Corner at lover's leap!  It is a 500 feet tall, 3 pitch climb.  It took from 8:30ish - 4PM.  Pictures will be added later.

Fuck yes.

Then I relaxed at a hot spring in Bishop.

Hotspring in Bishop

Chillin' without my millions

 

SEO Update & Yousef Erakat (AKA FOUSEYTUBE)

 SEO Update & Yousef Erakat (AKA FOUSEYTUBE)

So like I told you guys I am going to provide an update from my SEO experiment.

3 Months ago almost exactly (on March 5th, 2014) I decided to write about an up and coming youtube dude named Yousef Erakat.  I wrote ... a few bullet points.

The term is searched roughly 5,000/month & online there wasn't any biography of this big butt comedian/student/youtubian.  I chose the term "Who is Yousef Erakat" as my keyword phrase for the blog post.

3 months ago: My worth of web was around $215.

NOW.....TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!??!!?

July 2nd 2014 Worth Of Web

July 2nd 2014 Worth Of Web

 

 

 

 

 

17 Days after I wrote that post, I was ranked past the 11th page of Google.

I am now on the first page for "who is yousef erakat" and on the second page of google for simply "yousef erakat".  Right under the very link to his Youtube Channel.

First Page Of Google For Who Is Yousef Erakat Phrase

First Page Of Google For Who Is Yousef Erakat Phrase

AND...

The peepz shared this post

The peepz shared this post... like they had rabies.

AND... I started getting emails..... ABOUT YOUSEF.

2014-07-02_2230I said it would take 3-4 months for a phrase with low competition and a high search (5000/month is not exactly THAT high...) for you to travel to the first page of google for that particular phrase.

BAM. Proof.

Thanks for being a part of this experiment, dude!

Thanks for being a part of this experiment, dude!

Stay tuned... for the next SEO experiment!